OMGPD: Holiday Candle Holder?

Take a look at some of the more intriguing police reports from around the state. An arrest does not indicate a conviction.


Man Charged With Trying to Destroy City Menorah

While many have focused on the holiday/Christmas tree debacle, one man has not forgotten about the menorah. According to police, a 34-year-old Cranston man (see featured picture) was seen maliciously attacking the city’s menorah one night in an effort to destroy it. (According to police, the menorah was undamaged following the attack.) The religious crusader – a follower of the Zoroastrianism faith, according to his blog – yelled at police and said the city shouldn’t be putting up religious displays, telling them, “This is an infringement of my [expletive] rights.” Zoroastrianism is a religion that’s morality is summed up with the phrase, “good thoughts, good words, good deeds.” If things couldn’t get any odder in this case, he is scheduled to be arraigned on Dec. 21, 2012.


Do a Barrel Roll

An ADT Security Services van ended up on its roof after its driver took it off a sweet jump – a.k.a. a landscaping trailer. East Providence police arrived to help a towing company flip the van back over and discovered the possible cause of the accident – sugar-cookie flavored vodka. The 26-year-old driver told police he was at a home installing a security system and had downed a couple of shots with the homeowner. A preliminary breath test found his blood alcohol level was .269, more than three times the legal limit. According to reports, the incident happened around 4 p.m.


Drunk and Lost in Walmart

What’s scarier than being lost in Walmart? Being lost and drunk in Walmart. According to police in North Kingstown, Walmart employees called in a report of an intoxicated man who almost knocked over a display inside the store. By the time police arrived, the man had discovered how to exit the building and was found in the plaza near Staples. He told police his coworker had driven him to the plaza to do some holiday shopping when the two decided to stop in at a restaurant inside the plaza for dinner. According to officers, the two inadvertently became intoxicated and somewhere along the way became separated. After police and the man were unable to find his coworker, officers offered the man a ride back to the boat he was working on in Quonset.


Driving Slowly & Driving Poorly

Police charged a 22-year-old New Jersey man with drunken driving after reportedly seeing him drive under the speed limit – way under the speed limit. According to reports, the man was going 18 mph in a 35 mph zone. The driver was frank with officer and allegedly said he “drank too much” and “shouldn’t be driving.” , knocking off the cruiser’s side mirror and spotlight. Officers then pursued that vehicle and spoke to the 21-year-old driver who told police she realized she hit the car but didn’t know what to do and continued driving. The driver passed field sobriety tests, despite reportedly smelling of alcohol. The first driver was charged with drunken driving while the second was hit with a failure to stop after an accident misdemeanor.

la_mouffette December 15, 2012 at 09:34 PM
Unless the man in the first story is an ethnic Parsi, he's probably not *actually* Zoroastrian... based on his digital online footprint (in which he also claims to be an aristocrat, the victim of long-term, pervasive persecution, and at one point, a "political prisoner") I'm guessing he's someone in dire need of a mental health intervention...
la_mouffette December 15, 2012 at 09:40 PM
Oh, I forgot to mention-- his stint as an oppressed "political prisoner" involved spending one day in the Providence jail, and the main form of persecution was that he felt he didn't have access to enough hygiene amenities. (reminiscent of a Siberian gulag or Turkish prison, no?) He blamed the imprisonment on a "self-published" book he had recently completed. I honestly hope this arrest means he gets some help =/ Some of the things he has posted online make him seem like a potential danger to himself or others.


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