The War On/For Christmas Two Aquidneck Island residents have two very different mindsets when it comes to the holidays. In Portsmouth, a 25-year-old man reportedly involved his Christmas tree in a fight against a woman. According to reports, he threw the tree onto the porch of the house and allegedly head-butted and slapped her across the face. The same day in Middletown, a 52-year-old waged war for Christmas when she allegedly tried to kill a 56-year-old man with a knife. She told police she became upset after seeing pictures of Christmas trees on Facebook and realized they had not had a …

  Deer and marijuana – it’s what’s for dinner. A possible “deer jacker,” which is not nearly as dirty as it sounds, was arrested by North Kingstown police and charged with drunken driving. Police said that the Coventry resident had accidentally driven his car into a ditch, and a search revealed 10 shotgun shells and a handheld flashlight. Police believed that the man was “deer jacking” at one point – shining the flashlight at the deer to blind them, then shooting them. A shotgun was found nearby, outside the man’s car, and he was charged with drunken driving. Police also noted that during his…

  Teacher Gets Heat for Chilly Punishment Most elementary school students would probably jump at the opportunity to get out of a classroom and outside. In Cranston, two third graders have a very different experience when a substitute teacher used a trip to the outside world as punishment. According to a school official, the substitute sent the pair outside in chilly temperatures as punishment for talking during class. The teacher has been fired from the Cranston school system.   Drunk Man Fails to Break Into Own Car, Disappears One North Kingstown man drew attention to himself during his …

  Not Your Grandparents’ Scavenger Hunt An annual scavenger hunt in South Kingstown has us wondering what is in the water down there. The hunt, organized by seniors at the high school, is not a school-sanctioned event and produced a bevy of complaints on the night of Nov. 3. According to reports, a Toyota Camry’s roof was caved in and windshield shattered after students jumped on the car and wooden posts were ripped out of the ground near the high school. Students were seen streaking near the Narragansett sea wall and several others were allegedly in one Wakefield business stripping in the …

‘Curvy Sweet Dark Chocolate’ Woman Charged With Prostitution A “sweet seductive companion” was apparently not seductive enough to wiggle her way out of prostitution charges. North Kingstown, South Kingstown and East Providence police collaborated to nab the 28-year-old North Kingstown woman suspected of engaging in prostitution in her apartment. An EP detective went undercover to the woman’s apartment after police discovered her online ad – which described her as a “sweet seductive companion” and “curvy sweet dark chocolate” who exclusively catered to the “older men.” When the EP detective …

  Man Blames Mystery Mechanic For Accident Many children pin blame on their imaginary friends. One Woonsocket man nearly did the same – blaming a hit-and-run accident on an imaginary mechanic. According to reports, the 27-year-old man had sideswiped a car earlier in the day and left the scene. When officers confronted the man about the accident, he told them his mechanic named “Miguel” was driving the vehicle earlier in the day and was trying to set him up.  Furthering police’s suspicions, the man was unable to provide Miguel’s last name, address or phone number. Police noted that the man …

  Dog Bites Postal Worker East Greenwich Police may have thought a reported dog bite was a prank. According to reports, police received a call that a Rottweiler-shepherd mix had charged at a woman and lunged at her arm. Normally, we wouldn’t include such a routine police item, but considering the victim’s profession – a postal worker – we made an exception. (We thought this just happened in the movies.)   You’re Doing it Wrong On the list of places to hide your crack, one’s digestive tract is probably somewhere near the bottom. According to Woonsocket Police, a 22-year-old man (arrested on a …

  Baby on Board for Bank Robbery This East Providence mother probably won’t be in the running for “Mom of the Year” any time soon. According to EP police, the 34-year-old woman robbed a credit union last week. She was wearing a wig and allegedly claimed to have a bomb. The woman reportedly took off in a red pick-up truck before being caught by police three hours later. During this whole ordeal, the woman’s three-year-old child was reportedly in the getaway car. One-Legged Bandit Robs Garage This is a first for OMG PD: an allegeld one-legged robber. According to Cranston police, a man with one…

  Wedding Crashers: Block Party Edition A North Kingstown man gave two unwelcome guests to his block party an unwelcome surprise this past weekend. According to reports, a pair of intoxicated Kent County residents crashed a block party in North Kingstown while visiting a friend down the road. The pair, along with some friends, sat by the fire as the homeowner was trying to clean up the yard. When a 50-year-old woman attacked him for putting out the fire with the garden hose, the man allegedly sprayed the woman with the hose in an attempt to stop her from repeatedly hitting him with his own …

Bleeping Bath Salts Narragansett police had an interesting time trying to wrangle a woman who was reportedly on hallucinogenic drugs this past weekend. Officers received a call from the staff at Bon Vue Inn in Narragansett regarding a 32-year-old woman acting erratically at the bar. Police were able to locate the woman quickly, as she was reportedly breathing heavily and shaking uncontrollably. The police tried to bring her to her boyfriend’s house, but she reportedly sprinted toward a nearby restaurant, at which point officers decided it was a good idea to bring her to the hospital. While on…

Arrest Reports: The New Halmark Card A Narragansett man was charged with violating a no contact order on June 6 after the victim allegedly found a two-page letter on her pillow. The note was written by the man using the back of his police fact sheet. He was previously arrested for domestic abuse and violating a prior no contact order and was in the process of moving out of the apartment he and the victim shared together. The note mentioned several times that he could not contact her. Alleged Drug Scheme Lands Wretham Woman in Cuffs A woman from Wrentham, MA, allegedly impersonated a dentist's…

Sleeping Driver Thrown From Truck Window Lives Is this the one exception where forgetting to buckle up was the right move? Apparently, the negligence of a Dunkin' Donuts delivery driver that led to a freakish accident in the early morning hours in Narragansett potentially spared his life. According to reports, the unbuckled driver fell asleep at the wheel and flipped his truck, which skidded on its side for about 100 feet. It was at this time the man told police he fell out of the passenger side window before the truck hit a utility pole, snapping it in half. A preliminary accident …

  Police Find Suspect – Up a Tree Sometimes firefighters rescue kittens from trees. And sometimes, they rescue fully-grown men suspected of assault out of trees, which coincidentally happened this past week in Johnston. Police arrived at the 25-year-old man’s home after the man allegedly assaulted a 61-year-old man by dragging him down a flight of stairs and knocking him unconscious, eventually sending him to the hospital with broken ribs. After drafting up a warrant, officers went to go look for the man at his home — only to find the man “standing in a tree approximately six feet off the …

  Man run over trying to stop drunk driver An allegedly drunk driver pulled into Metacomet Country Club in East Providence and one vigilant citizen decided he would not let him leave. Following the erratic driver's Dodge into the country club parking lot, the man stood in front of the vehicle to take down his license plate number and corral it until officers arrived, according to police. That's when the drunk driver allegedly drove his vehicle into the man's leg, breaking a front light and sending the him onto the hood of the car. The man allegedly tried to grab the windshield wiper for …

  Knock Yourself Out? Jail cell bars didn’t deter one man from continuing his disorderly conduct. Narragansett police put the 34-year-old man behind bars following a disturbance at a local bar where he reportedly refused to pay his tab. Back at headquarters, the man allegedly continued to misbehave once in his cellblock. According to police, the man began yelling and according to another prisoner, head-butted the concrete wall and literally knocked himself out. Rescue crews checked the man who appeared to be okay. He refused treatment.   It’s Potty Time at the Playground Two North Kingstown …

Neighborhood Fight Leads to Loss of Teeth Woonsocket Police arrested two brothers last Sunday after they allegedly beat up their neighbor and knocked out several of his teeth. Police officers who responded to the property say the hallway had blood stains all over one area of the floor. When they went to the apartment of the suspects, officers say the man who answered was wearing a bloody work boot and barked "You got a warrant?" He then reportedly poked an officer in the chest. When officers tried to pull the man from the apartment, they say he became belligerent. Another man in the apartment…

  Hoax caller taxes Woonsocket Police March was not a fun month for Woonsocket police and emergency dispatchers, after a hoax caller sent them all over the city to stop supposed crimes in progress or to help people in distress. In one case, officers went to a store after a caller said he saw someone toss a handgun into a dumpster, but there was no gun found in the area and no one waiting at the scene. Minutes later the same person called the station dispatcher again, and said he'd meet the officers in the parking lot of a pizza shop. Police went, but the person never arrived. Throughout March…

Sleeping Beauties The arrest of two Massachusetts men in East Providence this week seemed more like a scene out of a Seth Rogen comedy flick than real life. Officers found reportedly three men asleep in a running car in the wee hours of the night…in the middle of the road. When officers attempted to wake the men, one passenger reportedly opened the door to vomit. But, the fun didn’t end there as officers allegedly found bags of cocaine and a knife on one passenger and a pill of Clonazepam on one of the seats. All three were brought to Rhode Island Hospital. The dozing driver was charged with …

A Tiverton farmer lost a dozen cattle in broad daylight last week, no joke. In a strange case of New England cattle rustling, a Connecticut farmer, claiming the Tiverton farmer owed him money, confessed to police that he came by himself and took the cattle back to his farm in North Stonington. The cows were quarantined and tested, and recently returned to the farm in Tiverton. The Connecticut farmer faces larceny over $500 (a felony) and theft of animals. Teen driver in over his head After reportedly crashing into a 32-foot dry docked boat, causing it to fall into the hood of his car, one …

  Driver "Too Fat" For Sobriety Test One Hopkinton woman had an interesting excuse for why she couldn’t take her field sobriety test. North Kingstown police pulled the woman over after a witness phoned in an erratic driver in the area of Wickford Village. The 48-year-old from Ashaway told officers she was coming home from Warwick and had two beers about two hours before driving. Officers noted that she seemed “outwardly perplexed” when asked where she was coming from or where she was. When it came to why she was having difficulty with her field sobriety test, however, she had an answer – …